Is it bad that Disney and other kid-friendly brands want to cram a bunch of prince charming, happy ending bogus down our throats? My answer is no.
Photo courtesy of my April 2013 trip to Honolulu, HI -- statue replica of the iconic WWII coming home photo located on the shore of the docked U.S.S. Missouri.
To some extent this Disney thinking does instill unrealistic hopes and dreams for the future. But why shouldn't we aspire to have a prince charming?!
Here is a list of five rules to follow and live by, to ultimately make sure you get Lucky in Love.
1. Throw out the crap-shoot idea that you need to settle. Don't make someone a priority in your life, if you are just an option in theirs. You deserve to be with someone that [in some of my favorite words] 'thinks the sun shines out your ass'. Someone who would rather do nothing with you than something with anyone else.
2. Know what you want. You cannot expect to find your prince charming, when you can't even pin point what you're looking for. Figure out your 'likes' then prioritize (this will make sense after rule #3) what is most important to you in terms of a partner and a relationship. Then refer to rule #1.
3. No one is perfect. Learn that first and foremost. You won't find the exact man you dreamed up. I am sorry, but you just won't. I love my fiancee more than I thought would ever be humanly possible, but there are things he does that make me want to pull my hair out. And in the BIG scheme of things, that's OK.
4. You will need to change. In relationships we constantly clench to the notion that 'It was them, not me.' Don't get me wrong, often times this can be the case. But refusing to acknowledge your part in a failed relationship is, in my opinion, the biggest no-no. Relationships are about compromise and if you aren't willing to work on the less appealing sides of you, then you should just get yourself some cats, pack it in and prepare to date yourself... forever. I was ignorant and defensive when past boyfriends wanted to call me out on my flaws, but looking back this information is without a doubt helpful. Step back and take a good hard look at yourself. Are you selfish with your time? Do you feel the need to turn everything into a fight? Would you want to date someone like yourself? Hmmm....
5. Lastly, let go of past relationships, but not necessarily the person you were with. One of my best girlfriends and I discussed this last night. We concluded this: you broke up for a reason, so why waste your time dating again. Too true, but at the same time we noted this: people can do a lot of changing and growing within a few years. I certainly am a lot different than I was five years ago. If you plan to rekindle an old relationship or even build a friendship with an ex, let go of all the things you hated about the relationship or person from before. Forgive them for their faults and let them forgive you for yours; start fresh, or your relationship, romantic or not, will never be successful. Likewise, the biggest thing I can say about this is to give yourself time to grow without them. Don't jump back into relationship with an ex from 3 months ago. Regardless of what lines they feed you, they have not changed. This is not enough time to change and grow. Be cautious with your heart and don't invest more time into someone that is ultimately not worth it.
These rules can be applied to anyone. Man or woman, of pretty much any age. Don't hesitate to drop a comment if you need a little gal-pal advice.
Good luck, lovies.
J.
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